Just need to talk!

Hi!

I am a mother of a 6 year old who I used to homeschool when she was in K. I loved homeschooling... no its not easy and it does take a lot of dedication but it was so very nice homeschooling her. After one year went by all my family, parents, brother, aunts and even friends kept telling me I was doing the wrong thing in homeschooling. They kept telling me I was letting her miss out on so much by not going to a public school... friends, field trips, becoming independent and having a certified teacher. It makes me so mad and upset... and I even get so upset I cry because they just do not realize that I am the best teacher for my child. No I did not go to school to become a teacher, and no I did not go back high school... but I have been married to the same man for going on 16 years and I work a full time customer service job from home and I have two web sites of my own that I run. I love my daughter, and I feel that I am best for her.

After listening to everyone always pushing me to put her back in school this year.. I did. I really do like her teachers... they are so nice and sweet. The school seems great... but my daughter cries every single day before I drop her off at school. She begs to stay home and be homeschooled.... and sometimes she even gets so upset she gets sick. I have ask her teacher how does she do during school and the teacher told me she does fine, no crying... no problems at all. And when I ask my daughter at the end of the day she says she loved school and can not wait to go again..... but the next day the crying starts again.. and so on!

I mean she cries everyday saying she misses me and her daddy... and she hugs and kisses me like she will never see me again... even though I talk with her and tell her that I will be there to pick her up... I talk good about school and her friends... but the crying just does not stop.

All family and friends say leave her in school, it will stop sooner or later. That makes me so upset when i hear them say that to me. Yes this is my only child and I want to protect her. I try talking to my husband about this and he feels pulled both ways.. not sure what to do... so I had to talk to someone... so I come here... sorry to write so much.. hope you all can give me some good advice... hugssss....

Hey CashDiva,

Like everything else in life, homeschooling has its pros & cons. For people who have never done it or never wanted to do it, it might be harder for them to understand your reasons for wanting to do it. For people that do homeschool or would like to homeschool, naturally they would agree with your reasons for wanting to homeschool.
Those around you who give you opposition on the matter obviously are not fans of homeschooling.....and probably would never consider homeschooling their own children. Okay, fair enough....that's their choice. On the other hand, you have a choice to make too. You have the right to make the decision to homeschool your child. Of course others will always feel the need to voice their opinion....but when it really comes down to it- You are the one who has the responsibility and the right to make decisions for your child....no matter what the situation, the reasons for your decisions, the consequences, the outcome, etc.
You are right. Parents are the best teachers for their children. Many teachers will tell you that.....(not that parents are the only teachers that a child needs in life...because many others [teachers, family members, etc.] are important influences too, whether a child goes to a school or is homeschooled, others always can make a positive difference.)

So, my advice to you is-
A.) Don't base your decision on what others say. Do what you feel is best. :)
B.) If you keep your daughter in school, she will eventually be okay. Kids learn to adapt quickly and she will start looking forward to school once she gets more comfortable. It takes time sometimes.
C.) If you keep her in school and she is still having a hard time (and you are having a hard time accepting her feelings about school), try to make her feel more comfortable at school. Volunteer at the school once a week....maybe it would not be best to volunteer in her classroom all the time but maybe she will feel better just knowing that mom is in the building. Try this for a few months until both of you reach a comfort level.
D.) If you decide to homeschool again, contact a homeschooling group in your area to do activities and outtings with. This will be great exposure for your child and will also be good for you. Perhaps you will see how others have dealt with opposition regarding their choice to homeschool.
E.) If you & hubby decide to homeschool again and would like your daughter to go through an actual school program where she will have a teacher that you will correspond with periodically, consider a charter school or virtual academy, like K-12. They are designed with the state that you reside in- department of education so your daughter will always be up-to-date with what she needs to be learning and she will take all mandatory state tests so that she will be properly placed in her correct grade level should she ever have to return to public schools. And she'll get a high school diploma for the state you live in.
F.) You are her mom and you do have the right to do whatever you feel is best. Don't let the comments of others make you feel like you are doing something wrong by prefering homeschooling over public schooling. This is your preference. Don't worry about what others say.....in fact, don't even talk to them about it. It's really none of their business.

Take Care! I hope this helps! :)

Everything mommymoney said makes sense and that is excellent advice. What it really comes down to is she is YOUR daughter and it is up to you to make the best decision for her. She probably will be okay if you just give it time and leave her in school, but you are clearly torn by this decision. Just my $0.02, but I would take her out of public school, join a homeschooling group and KNOW that I am making the best decision. She can get just as much, if not more, from a home schooling group as she will from public school. I have this same argument from people because of my decision to pay for private school instead of settling for public school. Follow your heart, and I wish you the best! (((hugs)))

I agree, Spinelli. Thanks for chiming in too! I think everyone has people around them that want to 'make suggestions' about the way we as parents choose to do things.....but we, as parents, need to do what we feel is best based on our own decisions.
I have a cousin who just moved and she decided to put her little girl in a private school instead of a public school and everyone can't believe that she is spending soooooo much money on tuition for her daughter to attend that school....ummmm...it's her money and her right as a parent to do that! C'mon now! Aren't there bigger issues happening in the world today than worrying about other people's decisions if they do not affect us directly!!!!! lol :)

CashDiva-
Hope these posts really help you to see that you are doing the right thing whatever you choose to do. You're just being a mom to your child. Mom's want what's best for their child and mom's know what is the best thing for their child! Bottom line!!!! :)

Take Care! :)

I want to join in this discussion. I wish that I would have had the guts to homeschool but that was 18 years ago. I regret it now. I instead listened to my parents, ex husband, inlaws and society. It was the worst decision I made and my son was miserable. I had to fight for services and fight stereotypes about LD/Gifted students.

My two cents. You need to do what is best for you and your child and basically screw everyone's opinions. There are great homeschooling groups and support now and I say that you ignore everyone and do what you know in your heart and your child's is best for her.

Hi... thank you everyone for the great advice! I just wanted to come back and update everyone on what has been going on and my decision. As of September 16th I have started to homeschool my little girl again... and I know in my heart it is the best decision that we could have ever made. One of the things that really made us feel that we was doing the right thing was when my little girl come home telling me she got into trouble for saying "Oh my God"instead of saying "Oh my Gosh. She had to pull one of her behavior markers off her name. Not only that but my daughter is left handed and they was trying to make her write with her right hand... so they told her that her right hand was her left hand and her left hand was her right hand. God blessed my child the way she is, and that is left handed.

Since we started homeschooling some of the people in our family has come around some, and that is a blessing. But you ladies was so right, it is our choice and our decision and we know what is best for our daughter and if people in our life does not see that... who cares! They can like it or look the other way... because we are happy with our decision.

They are so many stong, smart and caring WAH people and I am so glad that I am part of this group. Hugssss......

I'm so glad that you found a solution that is working for you and your daughter. You must feel so relieved now that the stress is gone and you are both happier.

I think you certainly made the right choice for you guys CashDiva. What kind of school is that?? Trying to get her to switch hands; what is that about? And that whole trying to be politically correct thing with the use of the word gosh instead of God, puh-leezz! I'm really happy you guys are happy now.